No longer just an idealitic dream

Describe yourself in one word: talkative

It is the most used adjective to describe me by others. They are right. I will not deny that I talk ALOT nor that I enjoy conversing with almost anyone.

The only problem with being talkative is that people assume they know exactly what you are thinking.Trust me you do not. This does not mean I am particularly close to the people I have conversed with nor does it mean they know me on a personal level nor do I claim to know them.

Please understand when I use know someone. I am not referring to society pushes us to believe knowing someone is. The world wants us to believe that if we know of someone= we know them.

For example  Hair politics a pertinent issue in my pseudo scientific race since the apartheid government created it. An issue imposed on all people of colour. I support the protests. I follow the articles and social media posts. However this does not mean I know the the protest participants. I know of them, I support them , I admire them. However as an individual do I understand these ladies. Who they intrinsically are.

So reverse the scenario. There is a person that somehow enters your world who you do not agree with. A person whose views and lifestyles hit every nerve. Do you dislike them? Or their actions?

Why do people believe they they are entitled to other people personal identities. If I think you are bad then I should want you to feel bad about yourself. THIS.IS.INSANE

People writing essays on the Pretoria girls high protesters work ethics as if they pay their school fees themselves.

There were moments this week. Where things happened that I did not say something. Where I was not brave. I am ashamed at myself. I am ashamed because I allowed myself to feel small. To feel wrong to be belittled by people who had no business speaking negativity into my life.

People claim to know you. People will claim they know what is best. However the opposite is true. They will cut the legs from underneath you. Why?

They have to cut your legs from underneath you: to stop you from standing tall, from rising up and from moving forward.

Allow what is happening to teach you something.

A girl that can start a national movement at thirteen is scary to some people. She has barely started high school imagine what she could do after she actually writes all those exams.

Do not be discouraged allow these women to inspire your work. We can move forward and we are. We can be fearless. We can move the most archaic of mountains. We will thrive. We are capable. No matter who we are. No matter what they say.

Whoever want to forcibly take your crown will not win. Any one who tries to oppress you will not stand. Who cares if you are fifteen or seventy. If they try to stifle you because of your race, gender, age,sexuality or past. They have messed with the wrong people. We are done with what is wrong.

Last month that was idealistic.

However thanks to the Pretoria girls high protesters I am starting to realise that's what they want us to believe.

We have the leaders, we have the people and our causes are right.

Zulaikha Patel your physical crown is as glorious as your metaphorical one

Am I entitled?

 en·ti·tle·ment

inˈtīdlmənt,enˈtīdlmənt/

noun

noun: entitlement; plural noun: entitlements

tthe fact of having a right to something.

"full entitlement to fees and maintenance should be offered"

synonyms:

right, prerogative, claim; More permission, dispensation, privilege "their entitlement to benefits"

• the amount to which a person has a right.

  
  

  "annual leave entitlement"

  
  

  synonyms:

  right, prerogative, claim; More permission, dispensation, privilege "their entitlement to benefits"

• the belief that one is inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment.

  
  

  "no wonder your kids have a sense of entitlement"

I recently went through another traumatic life event. After months of build up, hoping and work. I thought I had my break through. The illusion did not even last a month. I was faced with a difficult decision. A decision between what was right and "everyone does it". I think many people can relate to my ethical dilemma.

To my mother's great credit I  too the "right" road. If I was going to reach my dreams it would be the right way. However the good choice left me with a whole lot of pent up rage and disappointment. Why does the good guy always loose? It seemed so unfair.

My pity party was pushed aside for a few weeks as I had to go into survival mode. All my energy had to go into seeking alternative routes and opportunities with little avail.

I finally broke down this week.

It was at my lowest point where I had this revelation.

Why did I feel exempt from tragedy? Why do I feel entitled to life being easy?

Think about it. Things go wrong for people every single day. People's trains are late and they miss their exams. That person could have studied so effectively that they had the potential to get a distinction. Yet, some external force ruined that opportunity for them.

Some imbecile runs a red light hits a poor pedestrian with a car.The pedestrian could have waited for the robot to turn green: in technical terms done the right thing. That made no difference to the jerk that hit them because they were too reckless to adhere to road laws.

Does this mean we descend into a free for all, because the world is cruel.

NO

I feel a sense of entitlement is the enemy to us leading our best lives.

I feel the essence of entitlement is bitter. It lacks a ownership of our own lives. Circumstances can be bad. However we will always be in control of our decisions. Entitlement can manifest itself in small ways but left unchecked will escalate. I fear nothing like that of the escalation of entitlement in this world.

Take the Brock Turner rape case in the US. As with all abuse, his deep rooted entitlement led to that evil act. In his being, that belief that he deserve her led to his inexcusable actions. The fact that he saw his wants and ultimately himself above all else.

I am not entitled to anything. The world(general population) owes me nothing. That is the truth. Every act of kindness is a gift. A beautiful and rare gift not to be taken for granted. My own father does not owe me the courtesy of raising or providing for me. If he chooses too, I am blessed.

I find myself often realising my entitlement is taking over when I get upset. Someone pushed in front of me in a queue for example. Why do I feel my time takes, such president above others that I become enraged?

Think about it. Think about things that make you angry or upset.
Think about why you feel that way. Does it have a connection with an elevated sense of self? BE HONEST. Let us rather be an honest generation of broken people. People who are honest can learn and heal. Liars remain stagnant.

We as young people have to start checking ourselves. There are too many issues and concerns that need our attention. We can no longer afford the luxury of us spending so much time on OURSELVES. We all want to be victims of our circumstances. I still stand in awe of many victors of their circumstances. The people who are hurt themselves but still tend to others who are hurting.

We can fight each other individually to no end or even real purpose.

Or we can mobilise as a collective.

But being angry and getting mad is easy. I watched a two year old throw a tantrum in the bus depot for flings today. She screamed for forty minutes. I think at some point she must have started crying for reals because that had to hurt her throat. However the crux of the story is: she never got her flings and everyone around her saw right through her pretense.

Forgiving is difficult. I struggle with it too. I sacrificed other opportunities for a company that did not even consider me and how that choice would affect my life. Getting up is difficult. I wasted almost two months of my life on an opportunity that dissolved in seconds. However crying and screaming isn't going to help. It does not warrant respect and it definitely does not take one forward.

We have to keep moving forward.

To the few if any that read this, may I leave you with this:

Decisions are stronger than circumstance.

The butterfly effect

It is time for a paradigm shift in country

Please don't misunderstand me, I am incredibly fortunate to study further (#feesmustfall) however lately my cup has been pretty empty. I have enjoyed my academic terms because of the creativity and diversity of information it brought. I also found a way to make things interesting and dare I say fun with the help of my friends. Toilet humor for example wasn't vulgarity but rather jokes about dual flush systems. The list goes on.

This afternoon I decided to go to the bakery close to res for a treat. A "life can be sweet" treat if you will. I walked in and the attendant immediately recognized me when I walked in 
" You haven't been here in weeks, where have you been?" she explained. I had been trying to be good. For some odd reason I spent fifteen minutes trying to decide what to get. Even the baker came to the front. I'm the butterfly girl, I should get a butterfly pastry( it is rolled puff pastry with sugar in the middle and brushed with syrup). The friendly attendant laughed at me and half-heatedly tried to sell me other treats, but kept telling me that we both knew I wanted the butterfly pastry. When I eventually bought the butterfly. Then I was scolded for depriving myself and invited back next Sunday.

Butterfly pastry or Varkoortjie in Afrikaans is a delightfully light pastry perfectly accompanied by tea on Sundays.

The point of my story is not to convince you to buy baked goods, but my experience brought on the realization of the reason for my deflated attitude as of late. I am concerned about the treatment of workers in our country especially in the hospitality sector. Like the attendant the universe keeps telling me that I should do something about it, but I guess the fear of ridicule has stopped me till now.

My idealistic heroism of those in management positions in this industry has been lost.
I used to look at these suited men and women and secretly adore them. I guess this makes me a hospitality nerd but I knew departmental heads statistics as if they were sports people. I used to collect property information, Eat out magazine was a manual to life  and I read Trip Adviser more than Facebook ( for a personal my age that is quite intense).

It was a slow process, which I fought for a long time. I had stars in my eyes, why would I resent a position I being groomed to fill?

Call it fate if you will, but one day I ended up in housekeeping department running some head offices errands and accidentally fell into a deep discussion with some laundry attendants. It all started with asking them how they were and wanting a real response.

Their concerns and grievances were all things I had noticed before however my enthusiasm and positive attitude wasn't going to help them. They put it rather bluntly, they will work hard for the rest of their lives never to attain a fraction of what the guests have. They explained the fear they felt of guest, who at the slightest complaint could place their positions  jeopardy. They feel as if they are going no where in their careers. 

It all became apparent to me. The hospitality industry is growing and thriving in Africa. Many of the basic skills involved in service can be taught without the need of tertiary education. Surely this is a means to help relieve the unemployment rates drastically.

We have a problem with entitlement in our nation. The poor want grants but often without contributing to society and the wealthy hate any threat to their monopoly on opportunity.

About a month later I transferred to a different hotels housekeeping department. I took off my suit, wiped off my make up and put on a housekeepers smock and it changed my life.
I didn't have to wear the properties uniform as an intern. I thought it would be practical for cleaning I never imagined the social implications that occurred.

The higher management from head office didn't recognize me and I was chastised for not wearing a name badge when coming to dust their offices (which are bigger than the departmental store room). I wasn't even given the opportunity to explain that I was a student. People kept asking me how many children I had, such a stereotype. My greeting as ignored as people blatantly looked the other way. Other departments even laughed as we leaned the staff bathrooms that they dirtied. Guests would hammer the close button in the lift if the saw me pass. A male guest gave me no warning and used the bathroom in front of me as I cowered in a corner. The list continues it is demeaning and dehumanizing.

A housekeeper pointed in out so nicely " guest's love the suit" to explain my sudden unpopularity.
This same attendant told me "Just because we clean shit doesn't makes us shit". She's right, someone has to do it.

Just because your room rate is more that someones monthly salary does not mean you own them Slavery is over!!!

Also it disappoints me when I meet managers who allow their positions to inflate their ego. You are nothing without your staff. You can't run a restaurant/hotel on your own. They forget their employees are people. If you spend most of your life at work surly it should be a pleasant environment

Money and status is no reason to forget you humanity.
That's why I want to implore students from all industries to  start thinking about the leaders they want to be. Do they want to inherit broken industries and manage it in a way that oppresses those in our country that actually try to emancipate themselves from poverty?

Or will we build companies run with sustainability in every sense of the word. One that hopes to grow and expand whilst empowering the workers. It is possible. We have been indoctrinated that there only is enough for the elite. This is a lie. Use your brains and your hands to build, not break. Stop asking for solutions and think about it. The world is ours. Let's take positive strides forward and fight the urge to pillage and destroy like our fore fathers.

It is our responsibility to create opportunities for ourselves and for others. Companies that truly thrive are those that work together. We are all different. Our skill sets and ability levels are not the same. However real lasting change requires  us each to work together to build a country worth living in. 

I hope to reach out to other concerned individuals and build a forum where we can collaborate  to formulate solutions.