No longer just an idealitic dream

Describe yourself in one word: talkative

It is the most used adjective to describe me by others. They are right. I will not deny that I talk ALOT nor that I enjoy conversing with almost anyone.

The only problem with being talkative is that people assume they know exactly what you are thinking.Trust me you do not. This does not mean I am particularly close to the people I have conversed with nor does it mean they know me on a personal level nor do I claim to know them.

Please understand when I use know someone. I am not referring to society pushes us to believe knowing someone is. The world wants us to believe that if we know of someone= we know them.

For example  Hair politics a pertinent issue in my pseudo scientific race since the apartheid government created it. An issue imposed on all people of colour. I support the protests. I follow the articles and social media posts. However this does not mean I know the the protest participants. I know of them, I support them , I admire them. However as an individual do I understand these ladies. Who they intrinsically are.

So reverse the scenario. There is a person that somehow enters your world who you do not agree with. A person whose views and lifestyles hit every nerve. Do you dislike them? Or their actions?

Why do people believe they they are entitled to other people personal identities. If I think you are bad then I should want you to feel bad about yourself. THIS.IS.INSANE

People writing essays on the Pretoria girls high protesters work ethics as if they pay their school fees themselves.

There were moments this week. Where things happened that I did not say something. Where I was not brave. I am ashamed at myself. I am ashamed because I allowed myself to feel small. To feel wrong to be belittled by people who had no business speaking negativity into my life.

People claim to know you. People will claim they know what is best. However the opposite is true. They will cut the legs from underneath you. Why?

They have to cut your legs from underneath you: to stop you from standing tall, from rising up and from moving forward.

Allow what is happening to teach you something.

A girl that can start a national movement at thirteen is scary to some people. She has barely started high school imagine what she could do after she actually writes all those exams.

Do not be discouraged allow these women to inspire your work. We can move forward and we are. We can be fearless. We can move the most archaic of mountains. We will thrive. We are capable. No matter who we are. No matter what they say.

Whoever want to forcibly take your crown will not win. Any one who tries to oppress you will not stand. Who cares if you are fifteen or seventy. If they try to stifle you because of your race, gender, age,sexuality or past. They have messed with the wrong people. We are done with what is wrong.

Last month that was idealistic.

However thanks to the Pretoria girls high protesters I am starting to realise that's what they want us to believe.

We have the leaders, we have the people and our causes are right.

Zulaikha Patel your physical crown is as glorious as your metaphorical one

Could this be an existential crisis?

Who am I?
What do I want from life?
Where am I going?

The three pillars of anxiety in a young adults life.  The anxiety stemming from the need to establish oneself in society. To contribute (hopefully) to the community. The through the contribution to find purpose and belonging.

So often we as young people go as far to develop our dreams around the place we seek in society . One often hears students describe their courses as a means to money, authority or position. Their course either elevates them because it is "more difficult" than any other courses. Or the qualification entitles them to a higher pay grade still supposedly making them "better". People find great pride in the sense that when their families speak of them to others it will be: "My son is a [insert something that is impressive]" and the listener/receiver will respond in awe.

When did what we do determine who we are? Why is our personal identity so dependent on external factors?

What do we want from life?How many people are conditioned to want something, then when they are older experience a breakdown in their perception of reality? Only because they realise that their life was in fact not in line with their truth.

A man once told me it would be too difficult for me to become a general manager of a hotel.
"Why?" I barked back visibly insulted.
"Because one day you will meet a boy. Then you won't want to be so independent anymore. You will not want to work hospitality hours anymore because you will want to be with your children."

I think this story illustrates the fact. The fact is that external opinions are often ridiculous and better heard(we must strive to be polite) but not necessarily listened to. I am not saying do not listen to you doctor advise you on your health or disobey your parents. I am saying often we are so unsure in ourselves, that we would listen to anyone or everyone and value their opinion of our lives more than our own.

Your truth is important.

What you want and where you are going are not necessarily synonymous though.

When one reads a story or perhaps watches a movie: what develops the story line?

Action

My favorite book of all time is Matilda by Roald Dahl. It was a gift from my mother for my ninth birthday. Out of all the books that I own it is the most frayed from reading. When Matilda was little more than a toddler, she venture out of her home in search of books. She could have stayed at home where it was safe. Think about it the girl could already read the entire cookbook. However she had to go out, not knowing what was out there to pursue her passion.

What comforts me more is the fact that as intelligent as the heroine was she did not know or seek out the outcomes of her entire story. She honestly took it step by step. When she went to look for the library she did not plan to use her abilities to charm her way to a better life. To liberate an abused women.

No.

Matilda just wanted to read. So she did. Slowly things began to align themselves. Yes she did plan a few missions but not the grander and bigger scheme of things. For that she just had to walk in faith.

Applying this to our own lives, our "adult" lives. Is difficult. If you are like me you love control, you love to plan. Nothing is as important as your daily, weekly, monthly and yearly planners. You need to know if you are behind months in advance.

However let me share this

I realised that we cannot plan our lives with such detail. Tunnel vision in fact limits our lives. If we are too focused we deny ourselves other opportunities.

Consider the already used metaphor for opportunities being doors and how some are shut for good reason. I like to think of some doors to be shinier and more ornate than others. That is why we struggle to let them go. We believe the shut door is the best door because the immediate benefits are larger. So we stand there banging as hard as we can to open it. Thank goodness the universe intervenes and tries to stop us from entering. The universe may even point at the better door the one that leads to a more prosperous route. Unfortunately we often become despondent and refuse to seek out the other option. A more humble door.

However the humble door may lead to far more corridors and other doors than the ornate one. The humble less attractive could provide the means to our dreams. It may not be immediate though. It may be more difficult and sometimes we will experience ridicule by others. Translated in to real life terms it could be something like studying a course that is in line with your heart. Or working at a lower level job to gain the experience before applying to your dream employers.

We do not have to feel so desperate and insecure about our lives that we allow the external factors to determine how we feel . That we dilute our dreams and sacrifice happiness for approval only to later disapprove of ourselves.

We do not have to be limited in our dreaming. There are ways and means for each of us. We just need to try and take it step by step.

The trials we experience today only build our resolve. As we climb the mountain, the harder the wind will push against us. If we are not challenged at the bottom where it is safe to stumble we will surely not survive the heights. We will never learn to hold on.